Some days you just wanna say 'F' it....

As life gets harder it can get harder to stay on track. No matter how far into recovery you are...some days you wake up and just think 'F' it all. You start to think about the days when you would just get wasted and forget about responsibilities. Nothing to do but hang around and go nowhere and do nothing.

But really...how did that work out for you?! For me, it did not work out so well and I ended up making alot of wrong choices that had me going nowhere positive. As hard as it is to get up and be an adult some days...I choose to not live life like I used to.

When the pain seeps in and it feels unbearable...I keep pushing forward.
When the anger overcomes the happy thoughts...I find my reason why I keep going no matter what.
When the "why not me" feelings whisper in my head...I keep the faith that things will get better.
When I feel like I am never going to get a break...I get down on my knees and pray for the strength to keep going.

I have to keep going for not only myself but my little family and for the life that I have worked so hard to build after giving up on everything and everyone.

I did not like myself or my choices and I decided that I wanted to change....change my attitude...change my life and change me. Although things are tough some days...sometimes I feel like giving up and I feel like crying and screaming. I push thru it, I pray thru it and I keep going because no one is going to do it for me.

Stay positive...ask for help...do not give up trying and keep the faith that things can and will get better!