This has been harder than I thought....

I have been trying to make sense of all the emotions, thoughts, and feelings that are swirling around in my head and heart. The only sentence that has been a constant is....this has turned out to be harder that I thought it would be!😞

The list of reasons why could go on for days but it does no good to bring up the past and all it's hard lessons that have brought me to the here and now. All I know is that I have to feel these emotions and think back to times that are happy and sad, in order to move forward past this change.

I keep wanting to put the word WHY in front of every sentence I start...but what good does that do? I cannot concentrate on the WHY...I must concentrate on the WHAT can I do now to move upward and onward. The part that gets me stuck on the WHY: Why is it so hard to say Goodbye?😭 I can drive there and back in a day....it isn't like I am never going to see you again?💔

Then it comes on like a light in a dark room....so bright and so clear, just like that my heart feels a little lighter. When you have a close bond with someone, an honest and real love for another person....it hurts to realize that you are not going to see that person anytime you want anymore. We saw each other every week for the last 5 years and you have shared your whole family with mine for the last 11 years!💓

Sooooo yeah....it is going to be hard, I am going to cry sometimes, especially when a memory is sparked by something. Or when I saw my husband go thru his moment of sadness...it is going to be even harder when my son's aha moment clicks in.😢

But I have been feeling these emotions with past thoughts and feelings from prior goodbyes with family and friends. I couldn't understand why this goodbye felt so final....my brain was triggered to think that I am never going to see these guys ever again! But that is not the case here...that is not how I am going to let it happen and I know that is not how our friends are going to let it happen.

So many times we can let our old thoughts and triggers effect our present choices and decisions. I will accept the fact that this change is hard and emotional. But I will not let past experiences keep me in a funk. I have been telling myself to remember all the positives that will come from this. There is nothing better than watching someone take the first step towards their goals and the future they desire.💗

Too many times people get comfortable in a situation and stay there...for far, far too long and they are afraid to try anything else. Change always has it's ups and downs that come with it....but learning to accept everything that comes with change....makes the end result much more rewarding. You took on the storm, worked through it, and came out on the other side to a new beginning!