As I was delivering the paper this morning, I was sort of in a fog. Been having insomnia issues lately…not sure if it is the time change, LIFE, having this cold still or maybe the impending doom in Japan. Whatever it is, I have not been able to sleep well. 
Sometimes when I am delivering the paper I lose myself in thought…this morning my upcoming birthday was in the fore front of my brain.
I am turning 40 in May….a number that was considered a dirty word in my vocabulary for a very long time. I can remember back when I was 20 yrs old, talking about how I didn’t want to know what I would look like at 40. Full of wrinkles, going to bed at 7pm and just plain OLD! How wrong I was, I used to say that I bet I don’t even make it to 40….hmmmphhh!!
Okay maybe the bedtime is pretty close but that is okay because I just love my sleep now. Unlike when I was young, I thought I had to cram as much living in one day as I could…before I got old…LOL!
Alright back to the subject….I have a few close friends that have birthdays around the same time as mine. We all have milestone birthdays this upcoming May, so we decided to have a big party for all of us. Nice, I love hanging out with my friends but to be quite honest….I just can’t party like I used to and they are slightly younger than I…LOL!
So this brings me to my thoughts this morning….as I was thinking about how I can’t even drink more than 2 or 3 beers without feeling like I am done for the night compared to when I was 20. Holy Cow! I was drinking like it was going out of style back then…bars almost every day….sometimes a bottle of liquor every other night….on top of all the drugs!! Heck…I don’t even remember my 20th birthday…I think …..
I believe my 20th birthday my parents went to Omaha with my sister and daughter, there was a party pig involved with other numerous alcoholic beverages, cocaine in my parents bathroom, a few fights….that all resulted in me getting punched in the back of my head by one of my male BFF’s, I was in the middle of breaking up my husband and his best friend fighting. Over what you ask….hahaha, well because his friend gave me drugs which meant we were having sex! Then I fought with my husband outside who pushed a dumpster over in anger, after he came up behind me and wrapped his arm around my neck to choke me out. So I grabbed him by the head and flipped him over my shoulder into a mud puddle. Hence the police show up and we hide…and that was the 2nd time they had been there that night. I think that was my 20th birthday….hmmm
Now here I am 20yrs later and I don’t know how I want to spend my birthday…the last time I tried to let loose there were very bad backlashes from drunken activities….but more so than anything….I just don’t crave the party or the one time I get to let loose and indulge. I just don’t feel like the party girl I used to be, I still hang out on occasion and get loud with friends, indulge in a game or 2 of beer pong but it is different now. I still feel like I am that fun outgoing girl but…different and I don’t worry about finding the party on the weekends. If I feel like hanging out I let someone now, I ask what’s going down…LOL…but seriously this new found awareness has thrown me off a little but I am okay with it!
I enjoy not having to dress up every weekend and party crash or scramble around to find the kegger or start one…if I feel like getting some adult time interaction with friends I just let my baby know and we roll out from there…so we will see how this continues on and carries out on my birthday, dododododododo….LOL…TO BE CONTINUED…smile it only hurts when you laugh!
Teresa B
Sometimes when I am delivering the paper I lose myself in thought…this morning my upcoming birthday was in the fore front of my brain.I am turning 40 in May….a number that was considered a dirty word in my vocabulary for a very long time. I can remember back when I was 20 yrs old, talking about how I didn’t want to know what I would look like at 40. Full of wrinkles, going to bed at 7pm and just plain OLD! How wrong I was, I used to say that I bet I don’t even make it to 40….hmmmphhh!!
Okay maybe the bedtime is pretty close but that is okay because I just love my sleep now. Unlike when I was young, I thought I had to cram as much living in one day as I could…before I got old…LOL!
Alright back to the subject….I have a few close friends that have birthdays around the same time as mine. We all have milestone birthdays this upcoming May, so we decided to have a big party for all of us. Nice, I love hanging out with my friends but to be quite honest….I just can’t party like I used to and they are slightly younger than I…LOL!
So this brings me to my thoughts this morning….as I was thinking about how I can’t even drink more than 2 or 3 beers without feeling like I am done for the night compared to when I was 20. Holy Cow! I was drinking like it was going out of style back then…bars almost every day….sometimes a bottle of liquor every other night….on top of all the drugs!! Heck…I don’t even remember my 20th birthday…I think
…..I believe my 20th birthday my parents went to Omaha with my sister and daughter, there was a party pig involved with other numerous alcoholic beverages, cocaine in my parents bathroom, a few fights….that all resulted in me getting punched in the back of my head by one of my male BFF’s, I was in the middle of breaking up my husband and his best friend fighting. Over what you ask….hahaha, well because his friend gave me drugs which meant we were having sex!
Then I fought with my husband outside who pushed a dumpster over in anger, after he came up behind me and wrapped his arm around my neck to choke me out. So I grabbed him by the head and flipped him over my shoulder into a mud puddle. Hence the police show up and we hide…and that was the 2nd time they had been there that night. I think that was my 20th birthday….hmmm Now here I am 20yrs later and I don’t know how I want to spend my birthday…the last time I tried to let loose there were very bad backlashes from drunken activities….but more so than anything….I just don’t crave the party or the one time I get to let loose and indulge. I just don’t feel like the party girl I used to be, I still hang out on occasion and get loud with friends, indulge in a game or 2 of beer pong but it is different now. I still feel like I am that fun outgoing girl but…different and I don’t worry about finding the party on the weekends. If I feel like hanging out I let someone now, I ask what’s going down…LOL…but seriously this new found awareness has thrown me off a little but I am okay with it!
I enjoy not having to dress up every weekend and party crash or scramble around to find the kegger or start one…if I feel like getting some adult time interaction with friends I just let my baby know and we roll out from there…so we will see how this continues on and carries out on my birthday, dododododododo….LOL…TO BE CONTINUED…smile it only hurts when you laugh!
Teresa B
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