Dealing with the highs and lows....

How many of you have the struggle of dealing with the highs and lows of depression/anxiety/bi-polar.

For myself it has been a struggle to learn how to deal with these when tough emotional things happen in my life. This last year has been a great example...one of my lowest lows since getting clean from meth.😟

Going thru this journey of getting clean and sober has been the hardest when dealing with emotions and things from the past that I had buried so deep that some of them I didn't even know were there. 

When you are told that sobriety is a journey, it takes awhile to realize what that actually means. It is a constant journey of self discovery and realizations. And even 10 years down the road you can still find out new things about yourself.

I knew that I would probably have to struggle with anxiety/depression/bi-polar symptoms once getting clean but I think that I have tried to keep myself busy so I wouldn't have to face the reality of what was stewing in my brain.

I did a good job of it by finding a wonderful man to love and love me back, having an amazing son to keep me busy for 8 years, and filling up my time with my best friend's kids. Being a busy body and not having to face things worked well for awhile. Then the inevitable happened and an emotional struggle was placed before me last year.

Dealing with monetary issues started the descent into my lowest low....along with both my husband and I losing our incomes, I found out that my best friend was moving away...far away.😞 I have mentioned before that I did not realize or accept that I was going to take this situation as hard as I did. 

Last Summer was the lowest point for me....it sent me into so many horrible places. I started drinking more, I stopped working out and I started finding myself in very high highs and very low low's....exhibiting cognitive distortions that made a mess of my family life. Granted my husband wasn't innocent in the situation and his actions helped to escalate things. But I was not emotionally stable enough to ask him for help or help him understand what I was going thru. Then the emotional descent sent me spiraling into a mess of craziness that had me thinking horrible thoughts and making it hard to function.

I have always thought about going back to a therapist or talking to someone about my emotionally unstable brain but I have been so scared that they would want me to go on meds. Which is not my 1st option but I do understand that sometimes the need for meds is there. So of course I put off letting anyone know that I was feeling like an emotional mess and slowly slipping away from myself.

So I let this go on for too long, almost a year went by before I was at the doctor for something else and I just broke down.😢 My blood pressure was skyrocketing...they were concerned and asked that I talk to a therapist. 

Thank goodness I talked to her that day and she gave me some great insight into the feelings, thoughts, and emotions that I had been struggling with. She gave me options to get help and I started going to a group therapy called Getting Started. I am now assigned to a therapist and start seeing her next week....the best part about this place is that they lean towards treating people without meds. Although if I cannot get this under control and have to look in that direction...I will cross that bridge if we come to it.

If you feel like you are spinning out of control...or your emotions seem crazy up and down and all over the place...please talk with someone...your doctor, a family member, anyone that will listen. Don't keep it in...don't shut it away...don't bury it...do what you need to find that balance so you can keep pushing forward and achieve the goals you have set for yourself and so you can face any bumps in the road that come your way!