So many things, with so many reasons, with so many questions, and no one can tell me what I want to know......why? No one ever has the right words to say but everyone tries; do not fault those that just want to help.
Mixed up feelings and mixed up thoughts have overrun the brain and I can no longer function correctly. The brain does not want to think so the mouth just stops and if it doesn't it only says incoherent sentences that I cannot even make sense of.
Everyone feels this way at one point in their life and sometimes more than once; if not many for others.
One thing I do know....it feels good to cry....it feels good to yell....it feels good to scream WHY?!?!?!
The tears fall, the heart breaks but the day goes on and then comes the night....and then the day again. It feels like forever in an instant....if that makes sense?!
My heart hurts, my eyes hurt, my brain hurts....but most of all my soul hurts. It is like the feeling you get when you cannot comfort your child's pain....helpless and alone.
What more is there to do? Get up again tomorrow and keep trudging on.
The tightness in my chest will subside,
the tears will come to a halt until a memory flashes into my thoughts,
the hurt may never go away but it will lessen,
and the sadness....well, I will always feel the sadness but it will remind me everyday of how much I love you! <3 <3 <3
I have fallen down so hard I thought I would never be able to get back up again. I have lost everything that meant the world to me and felt like dying. I thought I would never feel whole again or be able to live life with a little joy in it. God never gave up on me thankfully....even though I cursed him many times. Recovery, happiness, joy, family etc....all these are possible with work, forgiveness, acceptance and faith.
